How To Stop Spending All Your Money On ... Stuff

John and I recently became joint owners of a travel rewards credit card. You know, one of those cards that enables you to earn mileage points as you spend. As a result, he had a great idea: "Let's take a look at our spending over the past year and see how many points we'd potentially earn!"

I froze. My blood ran cold. An image of all the dresses hanging up in my closet with the price tags still on flashed in my mind.

"That's ... um, sure," I stammered. I started sweating. Profusely.

"So! All we have to do, is dump allllllllll the data from our bank accounts into one spreadsheet," he said, settling down in his study at home. "And we'll categorize everything. Like ... clothes, for example."

At this point, I had to sit down. I began to get defensive and nervous. "Yes, well, surely there needs to be a category for beauty as well, for things like hair cuts and brow waxes. And what about gifts we buy for other people? There needs to be a category for that!"

"Sure, sweetie," he said, already turning his gaze to Excel. "Add whatever categories you want."

Before long, John had finished categorizing his outgoings. "Interesting. We spent a lot of money on holidays last year," he said. "See this?" he asked, pointing to another column. "It's our entertainment spend. It's not that much, so we could think about increasing that, really. And, yikes. A lot went toward the house, but I suppose that was inevitable, given that it was our first year living in it."

Meanwhile, the sick feeling in my stomach was only getting worse. I thought of my lunchtime trips to The White Company; this ridiculous gold pineapple, for goodness' sake.

Finally, It was my turn. I grudgingly sat down with the laptop.

"I don't feel so good," I said, three-quarters of the way through. He hugged me close. "Why?" he grinned.

"Um, well, Zara and H&M are coming up ... A LOT," I said, burying my face in a cushion from the couch. 

"That's okay," he said good-naturedly, but clearly amused.

You see, it wasn't that I was over budget, but rather that ... I HAD NO BUDGET. And every time I presented my card to the cashier, I knew this. And the guilt that had manifested itself into this gnawing feeling in my stomach suddenly rose up and bubbled over during this little "exercise" devised by John.

When I got to the end, I cried. I mean, okay. It wasn't THAT bad, but I was embarrassed about how much I'd spent on, well, stuff!
 I described it to my co-worker as a mixture of, "Shock, horror, and humiliation."

"It was like no stone unturned!" I howled, as she laughed. 

"Well, I can't say I'm really surprised, Jaime," she said. "I've NEVER seen you in the same outfit twice! And, you get packages delivered to you at work all the time!"

Which only made me feel worse.

John was kinder, although he also thought it was hilarious that I found the results of the task so traumatizing. But a week later, I've totally changed my mind about this spreadsheet - it's made me so much more mindful about how I'm spending my money, especially as I have a clear idea of what's going where.

Now, I know that the majority of you probably have an ongoing spreadsheet for all your spending and that you're brilliant budgeting and saving, etc. and you'll be rolling your eyes at me going, "How does a grown adult woman not know how to manage her finances?!" But maybe some of you bury your head in the sand (like me) and gingerly check your bank balance from behind your fingers. If you're the former type of person, then skip on past this post. Seriously, stop reading. You'll just be smacking your forehead. If you're of the latter sort (like me), then here are some (really obvious) things I learned from this little exercise:

1. Stop buying stuff

 Just stop.

2. When you do buy stuff, make it quality stuff.

John always chides me about buying "quality" clothing and less of it (while I roll my eyes and flounce into H&M, getting my quick and cheap fix). But he's right. Quality clothing and shoes last longer, won't tear up your feet (I'm nursing a 5-day old wound as I write this from a pair of new Topshop boots, btw), and buying less means it's better for the environment too. 

3. Reuse stuff.

 I don't think I'm *too* bad at doing this, in that I buy about 20% of my clothes and bags from eBay. But I could be better at not buying new things when I have about 10 of them at home, buried inbetween couch crevices and hiding at the back of drawers (LIP BALMS, ANYONE?)? I'm so embarrassed to admit that I do this.

4. Unsubscribe from ALL marketing emails. Yes, even that one. 

I subscribed to all my favorite brands' emails so I could keep track of the sales. BAD MOVE. Their enticing emails were like catnip to me (it's called clickbait for a reason, after all) and I ended up making unnecessary impulse purchases online ALL THE DAMN TIME. 

5. Stick to a budget.

OMG. Something else this spreadsheet revealed is the horrific amount of money I spend on lunch. And - gulp - breakfast. Have you seen my Instagram feed? "Quiche at London Book Review Cakeshop! YUM." "Gyoza ftw! YUM." "GIANT COOKIE THE SIZE OF MY HEAD! YUM." All those "yums" were making me dumb and dumber about my bank balance.

Instead, I'm either eating breakfast at home or bringing it in with me to work and keeping my lunch budget around the £5 mark (save for one treat day) ... otherwise it's too easy for me to suddenly spend £15 at my favorite Korean restaurant.

How do you budget and manage your finances? Are you super responsible (I bet you are!) or a bit of a Confessions-of-a-Shopaholic-type like me? My friend uses this app and swears by it.