Friday, January 13, 2017

How To Stop Spending All Your Money On ... Stuff



John and I recently became joint owners of a travel rewards credit card. You know, one of those cards that enables you to earn mileage points as you spend. As a result, he had a great idea: "Let's take a look at our spending over the past year and see how many points we'd potentially earn!"

I froze. My blood ran cold. An image of all the dresses hanging up in my closet with the price tags still on flashed in my mind.

"That's ... um, sure," I stammered. I started sweating. Profusely.

"So! All we have to do, is dump allllllllll the data from our bank accounts into one spreadsheet," he said, settling down in his study at home. "And we'll categorize everything. Like ... clothes, for example."

At this point, I had to sit down. I began to get defensive and nervous. "Yes, well, surely there needs to be a category for beauty as well, for things like hair cuts and brow waxes. And what about gifts we buy for other people? There needs to be a category for that!"

"Sure, sweetie," he said, already turning his gaze to Excel. "Add whatever categories you want."

Before long, John had finished categorizing his outgoings. "Interesting. We spent a lot of money on holidays last year," he said. "See this?" he asked, pointing to another column. "It's our entertainment spend. It's not that much, so we could think about increasing that, really. And, yikes. A lot went toward the house, but I suppose that was inevitable, given that it was our first year living in it."

Meanwhile, the sick feeling in my stomach was only getting worse. I thought of my lunchtime trips to The White Company; this ridiculous gold pineapple, for goodness' sake.


Finally, It was my turn. I grudgingly sat down with the laptop.

"I don't feel so good," I said, three-quarters of the way through. He hugged me close. "Why?" he grinned.

"Um, well, Zara and H&M are coming up ... A LOT," I said, burying my face in a cushion from the couch. 
"That's okay," he said good-naturedly, but clearly amused.
You see, it wasn't that I was over budget, but rather that ... I HAD NO BUDGET. And every time I presented my card to the cashier, I knew this. And the guilt that had manifested itself into this gnawing feeling in my stomach suddenly rose up and bubbled over during this little "exercise" devised by John.
When I got to the end, I cried. I mean, okay. It wasn't THAT bad, but I was embarrassed about how much I'd spent on, well, stuff!
 I described it to my co-worker as a mixture of, "Shock, horror, and humiliation."

"It was like no stone unturned!" I howled, as she laughed. 


"Well, I can't say I'm really surprised, Jaime," she said. "I've NEVER seen you in the same outfit twice! And, you get packages delivered to you at work all the time!"

Which only made me feel worse.

John was kinder, although he also thought it was hilarious that I found the results of the task so traumatizing. But a week later, I've totally changed my mind about this spreadsheet - it's made me so much more mindful about how I'm spending my money, especially as I have a clear idea of what's going where.

Now, I know that the majority of you probably have an ongoing spreadsheet for all your spending and that you're brilliant budgeting and saving, etc. and you'll be rolling your eyes at me going, "How does a grown adult woman not know how to manage her finances?!" But maybe some of you bury your head in the sand (like me) and gingerly check your bank balance from behind your fingers. If you're the former type of person, then skip on past this post. Seriously, stop reading. You'll just be smacking your forehead. If you're of the latter sort (like me), then here are some (really obvious) things I learned from this little exercise:

1. Stop buying stuff


 Just stop.

2. When you do buy stuff, make it quality stuff.

John always chides me about buying "quality" clothing and less of it (while I roll my eyes and flounce into H&M, getting my quick and cheap fix). But he's right. Quality clothing and shoes last longer, won't tear up your feet (I'm nursing a 5-day old wound as I write this from a pair of new Topshop boots, btw), and buying less means it's better for the environment too. 

3. Reuse stuff.
 I don't think I'm *too* bad at doing this, in that I buy about 20% of my clothes and bags from eBay. But I could be better at not buying new things when I have about 10 of them at home, buried inbetween couch crevices and hiding at the back of drawers (LIP BALMS, ANYONE?)? I'm so embarrassed to admit that I do this.

4. Unsubscribe from ALL marketing emails. Yes, even that one. 

I subscribed to all my favorite brands' emails so I could keep track of the sales. BAD MOVE. Their enticing emails were like catnip to me (it's called clickbait for a reason, after all) and I ended up making unnecessary impulse purchases online ALL THE DAMN TIME. 

5. Stick to a budget.

OMG. Something else this spreadsheet revealed is the horrific amount of money I spend on lunch. And - gulp - breakfast. Have you seen my Instagram feed? "Quiche at London Book Review Cakeshop! YUM." "Gyoza ftw! YUM." "GIANT COOKIE THE SIZE OF MY HEAD! YUM." All those "yums" were making me dumb and dumber about my bank balance.

Instead, I'm either eating breakfast at home or bringing it in with me to work and keeping my lunch budget around the £5 mark (save for one treat day) ... otherwise it's too easy for me to suddenly spend £15 at my favorite Korean restaurant.

How do you budget and manage your finances? Are you super responsible (I bet you are!) or a bit of a Confessions-of-a-Shopaholic-type like me? My friend uses this app and swears by it.
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45 comments

  1. Reading this on the train and chuckling! I am accountant and have no budget, imagine that conversation with my husband when he is budgeting! But points mean prizes and that credit card is always paid off monthly!

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    1. HAHA! Same - I pay off my credit card(s) monthly, but was horrified at just where my money was actually going. WHAT WAS I DOING?!

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  2. I'm laughing as I did exactly the same exercise over Christmas and it made my eyes water, I kept screaming at the laptop as different pots grew more than others...I even had a category for G (he is rather high maintenance!)...and for gifts so I didn't feel bad spending money on me!
    I've now created a spreadsheet that I update each week which will hopefully scare me enough into not spending but like you I have unsubscribed from all the marketing emails - unsubscribing from Mulberry was so so so hard (G had to make me tea after hitting the button as I felt faint...I told G that we couldn't afford smelling salts and if I did buy them then which pot would they fall into - beauty or health?!!) and I've just stopped buying things as it means less things to add to the spreadsheet.
    Another tip is to stop following fashion bloggers - they're too much into disposable fashion these days and it's terrible for the bank balance! My quality over quantity mantra is ringing loud and clear again in my head.
    In your defence, the gold pineapple is gorgeous and sometimes you need to treat yourself!
    xx

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    1. Haha! You are so good to be diligent enough to update that spreadsheet every week! I think I need something similar, or an app on my phone to help me keep track of my spending. Laughed so hard at your smelling salts comment ... xx

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  3. I've always been a real scrimp and saver but when I had to save for this year of travel I'm currently on I realised living with less and not buying all that 'stuff' was actually much easier than I thought. It's amazing what you can achieve when you live without 'stuff'. All those pretty house things and clothes are great but experiences I find are even greater :-)

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    1. Totally agree, Sara! I have a hard time accepting that I can't "have it all"!

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  4. I'm equally guilty of the breakfast/lunch thing - it's just so easy!

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    1. Yup ... especially when there are so many good places to eat around my office!

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  5. Haha what a real and humorous post Jaime! I stopped buying 'stuff' and don't really miss shopping, I really feel like it's an addiction and all these things never made really happy just guilty! I know it's boring but I always move my money into my savings when I get paid, so I'm tempted to spend. I also bring my lunch into work, also boring but save lots.

    I agree with unsubscribing to newsletters and even youtubers who always film hauls!

    Hanh | hanhabelle

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    1. Moving your paycheck into savings is a GREAT idea, Hanh - in fact, I used to do that when I first started working in London and I have no idea why I stopped! Definitely trying that trick next month.

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  6. YES YES YES to this email! I had a similar feeling of horror in December when I checked my bank statement and realised how many times ASOS featured. I was spending so mindlessly and knew something had to change. I'm having a "no spend" month in Jan where I'm not buying any new "things" and honestly it is making me realise how often I buy stuff just to get that little buzz on a shit day. The other thing that is helping me is that realising that all those £50 splurges quickly add up to a holiday! xxx
    Sophie Cliff

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    1. That "buzz on a shit day" you described? THAT's ME TO A T. You nailed it. Working on a "dry" January too right now - dry as in no superfluous spending! xx

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  7. This sounds like the stuff of nightmares! I have a tip actually, I downloaded a budget app on my phone and entered every tiny little purchase including random coffees, bottles of water etc and it's amazing how those little things add up and how much you can save if you're mindful. It became a bit of a game of trying to spend as little money as possible and beat my record the following week ;)

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    1. HAHAHAHA! I'd love to know what that app is called, Angie! I like the idea of a game ... need something to motivate myself if it means I'm banned from Zara for a while!

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  8. Oh Jaime, I really enjoyed reading this. I have to admit I had wondered about your lunch budget having seen the gorgeous pics on Instagram!

    This post came at the perfect time. I had this revelation in late 2015 and spent 2016 trying my best to move towards more high quality, considered purchases. I've also donated a huge amount of clothes, shoes, and accessories that were cluttering my vision of what I actually owned.

    I had five beautiful wool or cashmere jumpers but around fifteen cheap fast-fashion acrylic/nylon ones that were the first thing I saw since they were hanging up in my wardrobe rather than neatly folded with cedar balls like the nice ones.

    I'm STILL getting rid of junk. Which just shows HOW MUCH of it I bought for a quick pick me up. But I love having a smaller collection of things which are comfortable, fit right, made primarily of natural materials, and look stylish together.

    It's definitely a process!

    The spending tracking is still a work in progress for me though. And I've gone WAY off track in the January sales. But I've been aligning my YNAB (youneedabudget.com) account to start fresh.

    For the first time I have some specific savings goals so there's incentive not to spend needlessly. (Even though it's hard!)

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    1. Thanks so much for making me feel like I'm not alone, Sorcha! I was nervous publishing this post because I thought I'd get massively trolled (and probably still will) about being so naive/stupid but I do think what you said about "cluttering your vision of what you actually owned" was so perfectly expressed. Going to check out YNAB now!

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  9. I'm the same with food. Somehow I'll think twice about spending $30 on a t shirt but won't hesitate dropping the same on brunch...

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    1. Same. I used to tell myself that a good meal was more important than clothes but somewhere along the way, I kept treating myself to BOTH! Ugh.

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  10. Haha, I feel you - especially with the dozens of lip glosses, oh dear! I have long believed in quality over quantity, so I don't have too much of an H&M habit to curb, but, er, have you seen my bookshelves?! xxx

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    1. You have the most beautiful book collection! And lip glosses :) xxx

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  11. Those marketing emails ... I unsubscribed from a whole load this last year and it's made a huge difference! I bought a few purchases from companies that I'd not used before and sure enough, they put me on their mailing list ... prompt unsubscribing is the only way to go.
    And yes, breakfast at home, particularly if you buy your lunch. Oh, and stay out of the shops in your lunch hour!

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    1. I'm the worst for lunchtime shopping! It feels quite satisfying to hit that "unsubscribe" button!

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  12. I used to be exactly the same until I realised some time near 30 that I wasn't really living within my means, so I got a spreadsheet from a friend that really just tells me what I have to spend after bills. I don't stick to it religiously but it stops me from just buying whatever. If I analysed my account properly I reckon I'd be surprised what I spend in coffee shops!

    I definitely find if I don't window shop, I spend much less. Once I've allowed myself online shopping I never stick to one site and lose hours planning dream purchases and pinning things for the next pay day! Might try the unsubscribe tip!

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    1. I am *exactly* the same with window and online shopping, Laura! My impulse purchase record is the worst. The spreadsheet solution sounds great - I think I will either try to stick to that, or an app!

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  13. Hi Jamie!

    I discovered your blog a few weeks ago and it's quickly become one of my favourite online reads. This post is exactly why! I laughed out loud and then buried my face in my hands with shame because I am also guilty in having no budget (my colleagues are still teasing me for the £5.75 orange juice I got from The Grind last week).

    I always feel like my wardrobe is missing something or the other. But, one thing I am managing to do is ONLY buy good quality stuff. It can be H&M if its cashmere or mohair and it fits well, but lately I have promised myself no more cheap coats which I only get frustrated with after 3 weeks of wear (hello Jaeger sales!). Next step - homemade lunches!

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    1. Hi Manny! Thanks so much for your lovely comment! I'm so glad you found me! And OMG - I've HAD one of those orange juices from the Grind before! CRAZY PRICES.

      And totally agree re: quality pieces (I have a lovely oversized cashmere sweater from H&M that I love and wear often). I think I'll be turning my attention to all the unnecessary (and never worn) shoes I've got at home this weekend!

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    3. Crazy prices but also crazy yummy! But maybe we can save it for a Friday treat...Have a great weekend!

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  14. Hahaha Jaime this is why we love you. #reallife woes. Also I have a quiz for you (I hope it doesn't make you feel worse about everything thought): https://ig.ft.com/sites/quiz/psychology-of-money/

    Anyway, I'd like to think I'm quite a smart saver by bringing in lunch every day + dinner at home and most importantly, my biggest tip of all is: DON'T ORDER DRINKS IN A RESTAURANT. I can easily have a meal just below the 10 pound mark without a drink (good ol tap water is my bff) / dessert / appetizer? Think about it, that diet coke isn't worth 2.40!!!

    Other than that, I think it's just double checking whether you really *need* that item in your life! I usually do this in a shop where I think, do I REALLY want this. How much would I wear it? For me, I wear striped tops every week so my 17 pounds top from COS was definitely a good buy.

    Also agree with Hanh on moving my paycheck into savings! Or better yet, I have a direct debit set up to coincide to whenever my salary comes in and goes straight into savings already ;-)

    Finally I also think about how much CRAP I have already and I don't need so much LOL. Especially if you think about some other people who can't even afford weekly groceries :'(

    Cherie ✽ sinonym

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    1. I mean ... someone's gotta say it. But then, I just assume everyone's more responsible than me. I just took that quiz and got INCONCLUSIVE. HMMMM ... I'm going to make John take it. I'm curious! I should clearly be "The Ostrich".

      And yes, GOOD CALL about the drinks. I'm not drinking alcohol anymore (I've come to terms that we do NOT get on, thanks to my Asian genes), so that is already a saver, but you're right about the Diet Coke (plus, that's bad for me anyway!). Your comment really puts things into perspective.

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  15. Omg Jaime I was laughing and cringing all the way through this! I also get that pit in my stomach feeling when I open my bank account 😰 The only thing remotely budget-y that I do is try to only spend money during the week (food & transport, not like rent or bills) that I earn from yoga teaching. The money never goes into my bank account in the first place so then when I look at my balance its less depressing 😂 I should probably jump on the spreadsheet bandwagon but .... Too scary.

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    1. Hahaha - so glad you feel my pain. It was kind of funny, looking back at it, but it's always been something that has terrified me. And, like I said, I feel really embarrassed to be in this position, given my age - I should really know better! It is really quite revealing. Anyway, I would recommend doing the spreadsheet - it's satisfying at the end, albeit absolutely traumatizing. HA!

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  16. Ah I've got myself big into personal finance recently so I very much enjoyed reading this! When I started doing spend analysis at work (maybe 5 years ago?) I decided I needed to do it for myself too, so set up my own spreadsheet and went to town with it. I found it utterly satisfying but then I do love a spreadsheet! It IS terrifying to see where your money goes, and it DOES take nerves of steel to go through your finances when you've no idea where they're going. A few years ago I handed over the spreadsheet to my husband for Excel practice and that's been fine for a while, but now I think we need a new approach. Whilst we do track spend, we don't set forward looking budgets which is next on my list. I'm thinking a budgeting app, or something. Let me know if you find something good!

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    1. You're so good, Rachel! We don't set forward budgets either, except for big house projects, like the garden, etc. I think we should maybe think about doing that for our holidays. I'll let you know if I find a good budgeting app! I might ask on Twitter.

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  17. I had this realisation last year!! It is so easy to just keep buying stuff. I'm determined to spend less money on food this year - all breakfasts at home and then actually taking snacks with me to work!!

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    1. I've started buying snacks at the beginning of the week too, Jasmin - it saves money and is a lot healthier too as it means I'm not reaching for the biscuit tin at work when I feel my blood sugar dip! It's hard to stay disciplined, but I really don't have an excuse when Sainsbury's is literally on my way from the tube station to my office.

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  18. I know where I leak money the most: $2 coffee, and sometimes with a $2 cookie. They add up quickly and I have known year after year that afternoon caffeine + sugar is my weakness. Not to mention, I always throw the cup away -- so much waste! I could easily buy a French press with a month of that money, and generate less trash by bringing it in my thermos.

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    1. Coffee habits are THE WORST. I used to "treat" myself to a coffee or hot chocolate in the mornings before work, until I realized these weren't really treats, but a regular habit! I started keeping a little french press at work (Bodum makes great ones) and we invested in an espresso machine at home (just a simple one), so we aren't tempted to buy coffees or order an espresso after dinner when we're out.

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  19. Haha loved this post. I think we are all sometimes guilty of spending and pretending our bank accounts don't exist, never looking and hoping we are spending less than we thing! Love this idea of going through and categorising your spending, probably makes you think more about what your spending your money on! xxx

    Lauren Rose: laurenrosestyle.com

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    1. It totally worked for me, Lauren Rose! I highly recommend this effective scare tactic, even if it results in (literal) tears! Haha xxx

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  20. Great post. Reading this makes me realise so much about my own habits lol. I realise I don't really know how to budget. My way of budgeting is usually trying to make sure a certain amount is left in my account at the end of the month. How lame. When I head back to work next month, I'll definitely try to be better at it!

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    1. Thank you for reading, Camila! And hey, I totally do that kind of "budgeting" too. As my husband pointed out, it is just helpful to have a figure in mind to know approximately how much you have available to spend on a certain "category" of your life. I think categorizing my items was an interesting process in itself.

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  21. This really struck a chord with me, especially after one of my colleagues made a comment the other day about how many parcels get delivered to my desk each week. I've recently started wondering whether I really need as much crap as I have, and the answer is of course I don't. Good idea to unsubscribe, honestly something I'd never thought of doing but can really see it would probably help.

    annie | appletoothpaste

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    1. LOVE your blog name, annie! And yup, I'm *that* person at work. Striving not to be this year, though I might slip up occasionally! I'm also the worst about buying gifts for people ... I'm a little (or a lot) too generous. I looked at my spending in this department and realized that I could give nice gifts (and experiences, like a coffee date or a movie, etc.) for a lot less than I had spent last year. The unsubscribing thing has helped me IMMENSELY.

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  22. I feel this! I unsubscribed last year from all fashion emails and did a purge of my entire closet as I found I never wore most of the things. After I got rid of everything, I've only allow myself to buy things I love and that are good quality (and now I don't worry about the price of them as much as I know I'm not buying lots overall). Typically if I try something on, I'll wait until a day or two later if possible and see if I still want it.

    Bringing my lunch in to work has been my goal after we did this same exercise! It was embarassing to see how much we'd spent ordering out dinner or lunch! I told my co-workers so I'm accountable and I gave myself every Friday as a lunch out day. At home, we plan more meals in advance so we have food ready or easy to cook versus getting home starving.

    Good luck!

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