Thursday, January 3, 2013

The "Aisles" of Wonder: The Target Food Aisles

Today I had a business lunch with an Australian who told me, in no uncertain terms, that she found American food "repulsive". She said she had recently been traveling down South through Memphis and New Orleans and wanted yoghurt plus fresh fruit for breakfast, but was offered fried chicken instead.

(I don't know about you, but that sounds like a damn good breakfast.)

But you know, I get it. Sometimes you want to detox and having a fried chicken wing at 8:00 just isn't that appealing. Maybe you need a side of kale. Or something. However, to label American food - in general - as "repulsive"? Really? I SO BEG TO DIFFER.

See Exhibit A:

The Goldfish Cracker display at Target. BOOM. These little buddies are anything but repulsive. They're cute. Cute enough to take home. In fact, you could even have them for breakfast, sprinkled on top of yogurt, with a side of fresh fruit - if you wanted to. There are goldfish for all sorts of tastes and moods; sweet and savory. I picked up a pack of Vanilla Cupcake Goldfish, but am secretly intrigued by the Space Goldfish too.

Exhibit B:

Then there were the Cinnamon Toast Crunch MUFFINS. The Reese's Puffs MUFFINS. Imagine what "Bring 'n Bake" Fridays in the UK workplace would be like if these babies were available there. JUST IMAGINE. Yes, I know, I could make these from scratch too. BUT THEY'RE IN A BOX. That's all I'm saying.

Exhibit C:

I'm lucky I was by myself when I saw this because I actually let out a little yelp. OF JOY, THAT IS. Who knew macaroni and cheese came in so many varieties? And yes, I had macaroni and cheese for breakfast two days in a row. It was just what I craved. I brought two boxes back to London. John doesn't eat cheese, so I plan to eat this when he's away, accompanied by the not-so-dulcet tones of the Kardashians on the sole British television channel that delivers me my fix of trashy American reality TV shows (please don't tell my dad, who spent a fortune on my private college education).

When I encounter the food aisle at Target, I swoon. I want to lie down on the linoleum tiles and make snow angels on the shop floor. I want to press my face up to the glass refrigerator doors and shower myself with Annie's Mac 'N Cheese pasta shapes. In short, I am happy - surrounded by so much frozen food, junk food, processed food, and choice. I am anything but repulsed.

I hope my Australian colleague does not catch sight of Denny's Hobbit-themed menu, which is the subject of my post below. She might throw up.

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