Wednesday, October 24, 2012

There Are Some Things That America Just ... Do Better

I was being nice last night and decided to pair up John's socks, since he was working late for the nth time in a row, when I was suddenly filled with a sense of extreme injustice. I mean, just look at these. LOOK AT THEM:

This is what socks look like when you don't own a tumble dryer. Most flats and houses in the UK do not have tumble dryers. And if they do, they only seem to heat wet garments, so your clothes comes out hot and wet. Not dry.

I mean, come on. No man or woman should have to wake up at 5:30 a.m. (as John's been doing these days) and put on socks like these. No. He deserves something better. Like, non-crusty socks that aren't garbled into oblivion by line drying.

The other day, I wanted to wear a top and it was still damp. Undeterred, I put it on. I decided that the wet patch would dry as the day went on. I was just a little paranoid that I'd smell like damp for the rest of the day, rather than freshly washed laundry.

You'd think that hang drying your clothes would help preserve them a bit better but no, thanks to the hard water in London, I promise that $30 J. Crew t-shirt you just bought will fade into an unrecognizable state within the first wash. Guaranteed (though that might say more about the quality of J. Crew than anything else, since my $5 Old Navy tees have held up quite nicely).

Don't get me wrong. I love the UK. I'm so happy and grateful to live here. I'm 99% positive most of the time about my move because it was my choice. And I never utter the words, "Man, back home ..." because it irritates me so much to hear ex-pats say that. But ...

What is it with British "sello tape"? For the record, IT SUCKS. I'm sorry, Mom, I know I'm not allowed to use that word, but it SUCKS. Why isn't 3M Scotch tape the go-to clear tape (satin finish is the best, btw) for y'all? WHY?

And floss! Why can't you make floss like Johnson & Johnson make floss? Why? Why does it shred to pieces and cut my gums up, no matter what brand I try? 

There. Rant over. Must put socks away.

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