Friday, July 23, 2010

Friends Are Important

No matter what anyone says, it's important to have friends.  It's important to have people in your life who've "got your back" - people who would drive you to Boston Logan International Airport at 3 a.m. in a borrowed car and people who you'd stand on a chair in the middle of a full cafeteria and lead a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday' for (erm, for the record, I don't really think those two things equate - one's a significantly bigger sacrifice than the other).  Really important.

When I first moved to London, I had this many friends:  0.  Now I have about 7 (that's 7 unique friends, as in, friends I made without the help of John, thank-you-very-much).  I'm quite proud of that number.  But when you can count the number of friends you have on one and not-quite-half hands, little changes can make a big difference.  Say a friend moves out of London entirely, or just to another neighborhood, or changes jobs - you don't lose that friend, but you see a lot less of them.  Suddenly, things begin to shift quite rapidly: the desk you used to look forward to working at isn't looking so appealing anymore, the journey on the tube from your familiar station is a little lonelier and maybe instead of dialing a number, you email instead, since that doesn't cost money on your phone plan.

And in a city like London (or New York, or Chicago, or Boston, or Seattle, as I'm sure you all know), that matters.  As an adult, you sound so pathetic when you say something like, "I want to make more friends."  Because everyone who's anyone already has friends - they already know each other and they don't need to make new ones.  More importantly, as you discover, they went to uni (college) together - so why would they need to possibly meet anyone outside their circle of friends?  Beats me too, I know.

But I do.

So I'm hoping that all these changes within my friendship circle will be positive ones - leading me to meet more new people and maybe even make new friends - as difficult as that is in a city like this.


  1. you know i think friends are really quite important. i've lived a lot of places where i knew *no one* and i mean sure i adapted and i made friends. and then moved again and had to start over. but what i've found that really hurts are when the friends that are close to you. the ones you count on. the 3am driving in a borrowed car kind move away. having finally moved to a town where i have a whopping 2 of those, i've begun to remember that it's not the number of friends you can count. it's the ones that you can count on that make all the difference in the world.

  2. rhea, thanks for sharing that ... i can totally relate and understand what that's like. and i definitely agree that it's the ones you can count on that make all the difference. friends like that come along only once (or twice) in a lifetime and it's so important to cherish those friendships.


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